About Farts

I never thought I would write about farts, but here we go. The thing about farts is if you release it you are relieved but if you choose not to your stomach becomes bloated and uncomfortable. As much as we would want to pass out gas as often as we would it’s never the case because civilization requires us to be sensitive to those around us and also because it’s embarrassing to fart in front of people.

So I was heading home one of these fine days and I got the seat I like in the bus the co-driver seat. In these big buses that means there are only three of you at the front, you the driver, and one other passenger separated from the rest of the bus by a barrier. My gas pangs decided to strike this day and to make it worse I was the one sitting in the middle of the two. I kept it in for a while until eventually it decided otherwise when we hit a bump and let’s just thank God because it was a silencer which means anyone can be the culprit or we can blame it on the roadside sewer. Because my ancestors were working overtime it was odorless. 

This situation is what got me thinking about farts and how our anatomy is very interesting.It caused me to think of how different farts are and how the situation would have changed if it was a different type of fart. So what exactly is it about these farts.

The Motorcycle

Growing up we had mchongoanos I remember one that used to go “Wewe ukishuta mtu atadhani ni nduthi inapita.” This refers to our loud farts the ones that make noise and tell everyone you are the culprit. They embarrass you in front of your colleagues, family, and your crush. They have you wanting to get under a table and disappear. Even a friend of mine likes saying “You can not shame the shameless,” you can choose to laugh it off and you’d be surprised at how it will shift from embarrassment to a moment of light laughter and banter. After all its biology

Silent Killer

I would compare them to a leaking gas very silent but very deadly. One of these days as I was going to town someone released one of these in the matatu the small 14-seater. First, the space is small meaning it becomes concentrated, when I tell you I almost died I am not joking thank God for my exotica perfume from scents_ke. I decided to sniff it all the way through and it did help. When we release them ourselves we doubt the food we eat and sometimes feel like we need to wash our insides with jik and add fabric softener.

Sharts

The thing about farts is sometimes you can never tell if it’s just gas or if it comes paired with a liquid or others. Sharts will have you doubting your existence as an adult. The thing is most times when its a shart you will be able to tell because it won’t just be a  gasy feeling but the same feeling you get when you need to go for a number 2 or have a running stomach. These are very rare and only limited to babies and maybe adults with bowel problems.

Here is the other thing about farts when able to step out excuse yourself and do it. Better yet go to the washrooms and fart. At least that’s the proper thing but practically it might not be the case sometimes they just pop out from nowhere when laughing or just release themselves. Here is the debate I will leave you to have in the comment section. Can we control farts and is there an appropriate place to fart?

Also read: A Beer and a Cigarette